Thursday, February 02, 2006
Say It Ain't So, Sammy Jo
Ohmigod! Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora are getting divorced. What the dissolved unions of Brad and Jen, Nick and Jessica, Paris and Paris couldn't do, this did: made me sad.
I am completely neutral on the subject of Mr. Sambora, but I just adore Heather Locklear and I am automatically suspicious of people who don't like her. Those people will often offer up "But soap operas are lame!" in their defense, which is akin to hate speech.
There are many reasons why Heather Locklear is better than most people, including:
There was another reason why I love Heather...oh, now I remember
SHE PLAYED AMANDA MOTHERFUCKING WOODWARD! Seriously, one of the best characters ever. A fan of mini-skirts and catty one-liners, she was truly an inspiration and consistently entertaining, even when paired with Kyle McBride, played by Rob "Watch this manilla folder be more interesting than me" Estes.
And, oddly, Rob Estes and Josie Bissett, who played Jane on Melrose just announced that THEY are divorcing after 14 years of marriage. What is happening to the world??? Let me just state, for the record, that if my favorite Melrose Couple Doug Savant and Laura Leighton get divorced, I will require therapy. I wish I were joking. [They looked cuter than cute at the SAG Awards]
One last Melrose comment: I think we should start a fund to get Thomas Calabro back in the limelight. I mean, as much of the limelight that he was ever in. Perhaps the starring role as a smug lawyer in a Lifetime movie?
SPEAKING of Lifetime movies, if you have not yet caught A Little Thing Called Murder, you need to, like, now. I'm begging you to. And I rarely, if ever, beg. If blind items are to be believed, Judy Davis is a shrieking hell beast, and boy did her real life issues help her here. She was awesome. Unhinged, evil and with the most cheesy set of wigs in recent memory. The Real Lucky from General Hospital also did well. Will Raven acquit herself as well in her upcoming Lifetime movie? Not even I, she of little taste and an addiction to cheese, will be tuning in to find out.
One of my favorite people the lovely and talented Tanis over at Geek Chic posted a response to my Brad Pitt hateration, coming down in the firmly anti-Aniston camp. It's a great read, even if she is wrong because Brad Pitt sucks on several different levels. If you don't have her site bookmarked, you are missing out on a lot.
I had a whole discussion about the Oscar nominations floating around in my head---incidentally, that sounds much more mentally ill than I mean it---and I have forgotten most of it. I will make the following comments:
I am, as ever, excited about the show and will be blogging it live again! Woooo! It's a labor of love, but the only thing that would keep me away during the honorary award bullshit. Will this be the second year running that the host of the Oscars sends me and Negi a shoutout? Only time will tell. And if Jon Stewart feels as positively about me as I think he does***, I think we may be good to go.
*I have no evidence that she took those roles ironically, but believing that helps me sleep through the night
**For more O'Reilly hateration, please watch Keith Olbermann lay the smackdown
***We have never met, which I think equals positive feelings. Tabula rasa and all that.
I literally just realized this, which is pathetic: How weird is it that Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman are BFF and their exes are procreating with Dawson's Creek stars? I don't know why that amuses me so. Probably because of the aforementioned simple thing.
Mallory at 2/02/2006 08:34:00 PM
