Sunday, September 25, 2005
The Flip Side of the Coin
What a difference a week makes. Just seven days ago, I was all happy and looking on the ever elusive bright side, loving rainbows and happiness. A bad week at work, a sore throat, a trip to the mall during which I was nearly trampled on by a stampede of Hot Topic dressed young people and a hangover later, I am shaking my head and asking what on earth possessed me to be happy about things.
Because it's empty, you know? You walk around all smiling and chipper and pleasant, and then it's like people actively try to do things that annoy you solely to see if you can still remain chipper and composed, from writing on your calendar at work (!!!!!!! I don't know if I've mentioned by extreme anal retentive tendencies before, but I am really OCD about certain things and I only write in blue pen on my calendar and some trife heffa comes in and crookedly writes in lime green [!!!] on it) to awarding Doris Roberts her 45th Emmy and it's, like, Uncle, okay? I fold! I give up! I'm not meant to be happy all the time!
So in the interest of equal opportunity, I give you a list of things I hate and a promise to actually update more than once a week. Novel, I know.
The Way The Industry Is Treating Kate Moss
I'm worried about Kate Moss.
I mean, sure, she's not a close personal friend and I don't even know her, really, but watching her spiral out of control in the most gruesome and public way imaginable is upsetting to me all the same.
I have been a fan of Kate Moss for years, even when she was rocking the heroin chic look and making me feel badly about myself on the regular (her Calvin Klein ads, while beautiful, were depressing). I think she's gorgeous (and we all know how easily I am swayed by the pretty), and she's just such a fantastic model. She photographs so splendidly and walks the runway so magnificently, and her sense of personal style is tremendous.
So when she took up with Pete Doherty, I was wary. His drug problems are legendary. And, on top of that, he looks like a very ugly fetus. It's another example of what I have deemed the Britney Spears Syndrome--throwing your money, class and life away for someone who is ugly and otherwise unfortunate. I'm not saying I'd be pleased as punch if Kate had become a crackho in order to date someone like Boris Kodjoe, but it would be easier to take, you know?
Anyhoo, Kate got caught on camera snorting an absurd amount of cocaine in a tiny time span. Ooops? This, of course, follows a lawsuit she filed against the tabloids for claiming she was using hard drugs. Ooops again.
I'm not saying that Kate is a role model, or that her choices were good for the well being of her daughter, but at the same time it's like, hello, did anybody honestly think she wasn't using drugs? She's Kate Fucking Moss, people! She had liver failure when she was in her early twenties! When has she ever been the picture of clean and healthy living?
So then H&M dumps her as a spokesmodel. Chanel and Burberry follow suit, while Rimmel is in the process of reviewing her contract. This upsets me on a purely shallow level, because it means I get to see less of her (and also, Karl Lagerfeld? You're a dick and you store jars of your vomit [!!!!] everywhere. Cocaine use pales in comparison), and it upsets me on another level because it allows nitwits like Jennifer Love Hewitt to start jawing about her. Quoth Love:
I have to say that I think maybe they did her a favour, and maybe she'll actually get help. Coffee's one thing, but coke is another...It's not something you want to really have as a problem in your life. I think we have to kind of stop rewarding bad behaviour and actually start helping people.
Nitwit. Does she think that they mean coke as in Coca-Cola? Because I don't see where coffee comes into play. Also, Jennifer, you're an idiot, you're not as famous as you think you are and you aren't Audrey Hepburn, so just stop trying to look like her. How this girl is not the target of more random acts of violence is beyond me.
Rafael Palmeiro
Did anybody notice a strange smell in the air on Friday? It was the stench of desperation, as pornstache sporting Rafael Palmeiro accused Miguel Tejada of giving him something which made him test positive for steroids.
That's called grasping for straws. I mean, seriously, what an asshole thing to do, dragging Miguel Tejada (universally beloved, might I add) into the mess you created for yourself. It's disgusting, it truly is. The man can't go into the Orioles clubhouse ever again without wearing full body armor. Ugh, it makes me so mad.
My Super Sweet Sixteen
I loathe this show, and yet I can't stop watching it. It's like crack, in television form. Watch as teenagers nag their parents into throwing a sweet sixteen party for them, spending the money most blow on their wedding (if even that). Watch them act self absorbed and obnoxious, using velvet ropes and turning people away at the door. Blink or you'll miss them fakely thanking their parents.
I can honestly feel my IQ decreasing rapidly whenever it is on, but I can't look away. On the mini-marathon yesterday, a boy named Bjorn threw a party. Except they pronounced his name Buh-jorn. ???
TBS Reruns of Sex and the City
For starters, what is the point of airing this show if 40% of the dialogue (85% of Samantha's) is edited? Also, why does Cynthia Nixon laugh like Beavis in all of the TBS commercials?
I understand that the show is a big ratings booster and money maker, so I know why, in theory, TBS got the rights to air it, but the conversations don't make sense and some of the situations are so sloppily edited, and it's irritating. It also exposes Kim Cattrall and her character to a wider audience who then think that they are Samantha Jones and free to wear ugly outfits (I know people hated SJP's wardrobe on the show, but hers is just as bad) and talk constantly about sex, and how much sex they have and who they want to have sex with and blah blah blah. People, she's not real. Stop taking life cues from an obnoxious, fictional character. Samantha grates, big time, which is partly the writers' faults because they gave her such corny "quips", but also the actress's, because Kim Cattrall is an enormous ham.
Hmm. In conclusion, I seem to hate everything and everybody. Perhaps tonight's premiere of Desperate Housewives will change all that.
Mallory at 9/25/2005 01:48:00 PM
2 Comments
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at 2:04 AM
CLC said... Wow.
Been out of the loop this weekend, so at last report I had just read that Raffy had ratted out some "anonymous teammate" - not that the treachery, lack of honor and absolute rat-finkedness (as well as the pornstache) is not enough to make me loathe him, this revelation that he tried to sell Miggy out, of all people, elevates my feelings towards him to justified violent hatred. If there is one player in all of baseball who is universally liked and respected and, as shown via his comments surrounding this situation, is a teamplayer to the very end, it is Miguel Tejada. The only questions that have ever surrounded him have been those re. his age, but even those have only been few and far between. Man, this is like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar and blaming Big Bird for your behavior. Okay a rather weak analogy, but you get the idea.
Yeah, Raffy would be well advised not to show his face around next season either.
Now if we can just get Bonds to start taking some accountability... (ha!)-
at 2:04 AM
CLC said...
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