Saturday, March 26, 2005
Weekend Update
It's, as always, a crazy weekend in the world of celebrity news and I am here to bring you the highlights, both good and bad.
from my heart and mind simultaneously about things that are important to me now, right now, in this time of my life, not when I was younger or dare I say it less world weary/wary, but now, as a 41 year old father/husband/lover/man
Oh, dear. How about if we beg him not to? Or, failing that, file a class action lawsuit when he does?
I'm not saying that actors have to solely be actors, because I fancy myself a hyphenate of sorts (well, if writer/princess/snob counts), but I think that they should at least have the decency to be GOOD at the extra career they embark upon. Nothing irks me more than a celebrity vanity project like Russell's music or Viggo Mortensen's crimes against nature that he calls poetry.
I have to say that I hope, with every fiber of my being, that this is true, because I am a selfish person and think it will be the most enteraining thing ever. Because the Cleavers, they're not; they're not even the Bundys. According to a source,
"He calls Brit 'my lady-in-waiting,'" says the source. "Kevin knows he's not going to get a moment's peace from now until the baby comes. He says what he really enjoys about her pregnancy is chugging beers and telling Brit 'You can't have one!'"
What a prince she got.
However! An actor claims that it was his penis, not Gallo's, that appeared onscreen.
I'm very disappointed. I was assured by the producers that I was gonna ride Vincent Gallo's dick all the way to Hollywood but it looks like I've gotten the shaft
Best. Statement. Ever.
Vincent Gallo, hater of all things good and clean, rebuts with
I'm flattered that people are so overwhelmed by the size of my [manhood] that they would think it was artificial or a body double ... [But it is] 100% real ... I can prove it, and I will prove it
...
...
Okay, please don't threaten us like that, we don't want to see it, okay? Just, ew!
Hopefully this is the last time I will ever have to think about Vincent Gallo's penis.
Mallory at 3/26/2005 02:05:00 PM