Thursday, February 10, 2005
So Good or No Good?
So Good
Detective Mike Logan is coming to Law & Order: Criminal Intent! Yay! I don't know if I've mentioned it before--heh, who am I kidding? I know, as with all things, I've mentioned it constantly, but that's besides the point. I? Am in love with Mike Logan. Not so much Chris Noth, as he's a bit on the skeevy side, not to mention, er, puffy, but, specifically, Mike Logan. Who I know is fictional, but that's not important. The Logan/Briscoe era was a television high point. And this also means that Vincent D'Onofrio's screentime will be cut in half! Yay! He's so irritating on that show, seriously, all, "I can read your mind, beyotch, I know you did it!" and generally being a know-it-all prick, even more so than Dr. Huang on SVU. So anything that gets him off of my television for half a season is great and if that something is the return of Mike Logan, that's even better!
No Good
Prince Charles is marrying Camilla Parker Bowles. Now, I am not one of those people who is obsessed with the monarchy. Which is odd, considering my princess complex. But really, the monarchs sort of bore me and if Prince Charles marries the woman that he's been in love with for almost forty years, more power to him. No, what infuriates me about this is the outcry from all of these people who are talking about how it tarnishes the Church of England. I may not be understanding things properly, as happens often, and I'm basing this on conversations with my mother and foggy memories from Shakespeare class (and at the same time, please don't correct me if I'm wrong because I really don't care,) but...wasn't the Church of England created specifically for Henry VIII so he could marry Anne Boleyn after divorcing Catherine of Aragon?
So Good
Mischa Barton is on the cover of Vogue Australia and she looks so pretty! This isn't extremely noteworthy, except that it proves that foreign Vogues are a million times better than US Vogue which considers Melania Knauss an appropriate cover model, wearing $100,000 of pure, unadulterated ugliness. Suck it, Anna Wintour. Suck. It.
No Good
Special allowances are being made so that Roman Polanski can testify in the case he's bringing against Vanity Fair without ever leaving his hotel room so that he won't have to face that pesky extradition business. Huh. Funny how exceptions are made, you know?
So Good
Corey Feldman has a "sickening realization" about his friendship with Michael Jackson. This may seem like a cruel thing to be amused about (what, me cruel? Never!) but it is just more proof that this trial could be the greatest parade of freakshows ever. If we get Corey Feldman involved, how far behind can the Culkins, Webster and Bubbles be? How far? Elizabeth Taylor as a character witness? Please? All I ask is for one Culkin, that's it. I wonder what made Corey change his tune--was it the rumors of how MJ wouldn't let Corey come with him on September 11th? Or something more insidious, did he find out that he wasn't MJ's favorite Corey? Or was it simply the fact that his last project was a TV joint called Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys? So many questions! I hope that this 20/20 special has footage of Corey Feldman impersonating Michael Jackson, because that never fails to make me laugh.
No Good
Popbitch hurts my brain. In this week's newsletter, there was a blind item about the affair between a no longer newlywed and her jackass costar. That blind item was so unblind that Ray Charles got it, even in the afterlife. And you know, that's the second tasteless joke I've made about Ray Charles today alone. I don't know if I should be ashamed or proud of that. But at any rate-ew, Popbitch, thanks for nothing, because that piece of news was just...it hurt me, it disturbed me and it made me want to curl up in the fetal position and never leave my room again. As did this note:
New York Fashion Week - at Kimora Simmons' Baby Phat show, the goodie bags consisted of condoms, Altoids, lube and clitoral stimulation gel.
Ew! I mean, I'm probably most disturbed because I know Usher was there (let in instead of Andre Leon Talley, nonetheless! Like, way to shoot yourself in the foot there, Kimmie) and I am more comfortable living in a fantasy world in which Usher is both asexual and not the best-selling artist of the last year.
So Good
Without a Trace. If you are watching it, you know what I mean. If you're not watching it--why the hell are you not watching it? Don't tell me that you're still watching ER or I will have to track you down and yell at you in person (much more effective than doing so online, as my voice can get shrill) because it is a wonderful show and tonight made me cry and Enrique Murciano is so very cute and that's really all you need to know.
No Good
So Julia Roberts poses for People with her twins and, on the cover, is rocking pigtails. Pigtails. Pigtails are not meant for anybody over the age of 12, though people can get away with wearing them for a few years after that in rare cases. Grown women? Are not these people, I'm sorry. I understand that motherhood takes a toll and I really do like Julia and I usually make apologies for her but OHMIGOD PIGTAILS! PIGTAILS! I HAVEN'T WORN PIGTAILS IN PUBLIC SINCE 1994 LET ALONE ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE! We have to draw the line somewhere, people.
Mallory at 2/10/2005 12:37:00 AM
2 Comments
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at 2:11 AM
CLC said... Funny you should mention Ms. KL Simmons, in all here faux-fabulousness. For reasons that are pretty much unjustifiable, the following pictures were making the rounds at work today: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/kimoraleemug1.html
Mug shots from her "alleged" marijuana possession arrest. If the glassy eyes don't scream "love that kind herb." then the glamour shot pose certainly does. She may as well be making a peace sign.
Then again, if she let Usher into her show, but excluded the formidable Mr. Talley, then she had to be smoking something.-
at 6:47 AM
Rayanne Graff said...
1. Is there anyone still watching ER? (That's not braindead or comatose, I mean.) I was rather under the impression they just showed the last season over and over and hoped nobody noticed since anyone with half a brain tuned out circa 2000.
2. The Prince Charles and Camilla thing: personally, I'm just happy to keep bringing up the "I want to be your tampon" quote over and over, and can't see any controversy.