Sunday, February 20, 2005

Beckingham Palace Welcomes A Baby!

Long time readers, casual observers and people in my classes know of my enormous Beckham fetish so it should be no surprise to any of you that I squealed with glee when I heard that they had their third child today.

Literally, I squealed with glee. And I don't even have the tact to be ashamed of it!

Olivia and I have been excited about the bundle of joy since we first heard about Vicki's pregnancy in the wake of the entire Rebecca Loos scandal that kept me entertained for days. We were disappointed, naturally, when it was revealed that she was to have another son, as if she didn't have a million of them already, because, really, wouldn't a Beckham daughter just be over-the-top glam? I invision a dressing room to rival the Queen's, or Jennifer Lopez's even, and Mummy-and-Me trips to the tanning salon and onesies with Swarovski crystals designed by Donatella.

But it seems as though David's ability to father a daughter is as poor as his ability to keep it in his pants or speak as though he hadn't been kicked in the groin, because here we are, with another boy Beckham.

Named Cruz.

The name seemed to be chosen in a nod to the Beckhams' new home in Madrid and I do have to say that it's a bit more reasonable of a name than his brothers have been saddled with--Brooklyn, named after the spot of his conception (ew!) and Romeo, which is just setting your child up for a lifetime of bad puns and it's something that even Vicki herself seemed to worry about, saying:

At the time I thought, 'My goodness, what if he's not handsome?' But then I figured we'd get a good haircut and send him off to the south of France if he's pale or something


However--Cruz Beckham? Just doesn't sound good. At all. Cruz Beckham. Cruz Beckham? Perhaps they were big fans of Santa Barbara.I mean, on the plus side, they didn't choose an exotic sounding name that didn't mean what they thought it meant. I mean, can't you see them naming a child Paella or Fajita? I love them dearly, but they're none too bright. And really, he comes equipped with a theme song, courtesy of Christina Aguilera, so he's got that going for him. And if anybody were to make fun of his name for not flowing properly, he could have them bought and sold to the highest bidder, or not allow them to come over and sit on his throne, so I shouldn't worry too much about the chap.

And David, photographed outside of the hospital, looks beyond thrilled:

Awww! And also, hot. Because despite his myriad flaws, there will never be a time where David Beckham is not pretty.

Granted, he said:

He's got Victoria's nose and lips. He's gorgeous, so we're very happy


Which...well, I'm sure he meant it as a compliment.

So it's a very happy day indeed, and please, before any of you point out how sad it is that my joy comes from the birth of a child who isn't related to me at all or even related to a celebrity who is famous in the United States, just be aware that I know that already and don't need you rubbing it in, okay? Thanks.

Mallory at 2/20/2005 08:00:00 PM

4comments

4 Comments

at 10:33 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

David Beckham is damn fine

 
at 4:53 AM Blogger Rayanne Graff said...

Which...well, I'm sure he meant it as a compliment.Hee! Great minds think alike!I'm also far more excited than I should be, given I'm not actually related to the Beckhams, or friends with them in any capacity (yet).

Sigh. David is so, so pretty. He really makes life worth living, I think.

 
at 1:43 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Gadfly, you are damn fine. I tracked you to here, via Fametracker.

Sometimes random individuals, in faraway countries, happen upon a writing style that they like on the internet and follow the trail of breadcrumbs to its source. Why aren't you in print?

But sod David. Write more about Mischa and WaT.

 
at 3:38 PM Blogger Mallory said...

David Beckham is damn fine, isn't he?

Ms. O, we obviously share a brain (between this and the Olsens, it's really uncanny) and I agree that life would be so, so empty without David Beckham in it.

Mr. or Ms. Anonymous--how terribly sweet! That seriously made my day and I wish I could thank you properly. Do feel free to drop an email whenever you'd like! I'm crossing my fingers for being in print one day, so we shall see.

And you're giving me license to discuss Mischa and WaT (and my deep love of Enrique Murciano, which comes with that)! Who am I to disappoint?

 

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