Monday, December 20, 2004
Suck It, VH1
Jhullets get in the way of love
I really thought that those two crazy kids had a chance of making it.
Martinez and de la Rosa. A story for the ages. And now, they are no longer.
Is it wrong of me to hope that the entire little population of little people stand up for their brotha and take their aggression out on Pedro? It is? Okay, then pretend I didn't say anything. I really do hope that Pedro either cries on the mound during a temper tantrum or is beaten with a fungo bat in the dugout.
A Christmas present from me to you: You know the group Destiny's Child? They're the ones with Beyonce and The Girl Who Sings Sometimes (Kelly) and that other girl. Oh, poor Michelle. All she gets to do is stand around nodding her head and hoping that she doesn't mess up bad enough for Papa Knowles to smack her.
And she's messed up bad enough for Papa Knowles to smack her (allegedly) numerous times. Like here, for example.
You'd think, then, if someone were to update Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer and have Destiny's Child sing a little bit, that they'd let Michelle sing, with the spirit of Christmas and all.
No, no they don't. Just like in real life, she stands around and bobs her head.
Hilarious.
VH1 thinks we're all fat
It was VH1's "Fat Free Monday" today, with ample showings of From Flab to Fab, Diet Secrets of the Stars and Rock Bodies.
I, of course, was inspired to make a hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps.
Anyhoo, for those of you who missed it, Jennifer Aniston is on the Zone Diet (thanks so much for telling us, VH1! It's not like she hasn't mentioned it in EVERY FUCKING INTERVIEW she's given since 1997, usually before her hairstyle and after her marriage), Jessica Simpson am dumb and Usher is a conceited mofo. Just so y'all are up to speed.
All Hail Mo Rocca
Is it sick and wrong that I'm so looking forward to I Love The 90s Part Deux? Yes? Oh. I know that I Love The 90s was sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel--"Wow, remember that South Park show?! Oh, wait, it's still on"--but I have a deep love for these shows, aided in part by the fact that I love Mo Rocca dearly and am planning on wasting several hours this week watching I Love The 80s Strikes Back. For hearing Mo Rocca discuss freebasing Chicken McNuggets? Comedy gold, people. Gold.
Mallory at 12/20/2004 07:09:00 PM
1 Comments
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at 11:20 AM
Mallory said... GASP! Pedro was set up?! Damn, the Post really is awful if they're making me not hate him for two seconds.
And seriously--are there many stories like this? Major league pitcher breaks up with midget and befriends new midget who is a reporter in disguise?! I'm more sheltered than I thought.