Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Free Your Mind

John Ashcroft resigns. What they don't tell you in the article is that he's going to commit himself fully to his music. Expect his album to drop sometime in February, featuring appearances by Usher (who will use it as an opportunity to rerelease his album yet again, Lil' Jon and Nelly. The first single will likely be a Jessica Simpson collabo.

Let us all take a moment to picture Mr. Ashcroft in an Atlanta Falcons jersey, doing the rockaway. Okaaaaaaay.

***


Today seemed to be "National Skeevy Men Hit On Unsuspecting Girls" day and people got rather creative with their approaches.

Exhibit A

Random Man in the Dining Hall: Do you want some cereal, baby?
Me: Uh, no.
Random Man In The Dining Hall: You sure, baby? How about some grapes?
Me: Uh, no.
Random Man In The Dining Hall: I'll wash 'em off and feed them to you, just like they did with Cleopatra.

Enticing, no? I can hardly believe I was dumb enough to decline. And the fact that he had to stress that he would watch the grapes makes me somewhat wary of ever eating in the dining hall again.

Exhibit B

Random Man In Dunkin Donuts: Are you an angel?
Me: No.
Random Man In Dunkin Donuts: You sure look it. All you need is a harp.
Me: (Turns around)
Random Man In Dunkin Donuts: You can play the harp and sing and solve all of my problems.

Charming. And, oddly, the second time a man waiting for a caffeinated beverage called me an angel. I'm sure there's some complex point to be made about the effects of caffeine on the psyche, but I'm in Diet Coke withdrawl and in no mood to make it.
***

While watching BET today (What? Sometimes I get bored when I have no classes, don't judge), I made the following observations:

  • N.O.R.E. looks totally cracked out. I mean...more so than usual. Just bad. And the video for "Oye Mi Canto" gives me a headache.
  • Pharrell needs to take a long, long vacation and just stop with the cameos. I mean, really.
  • Ashanti's songs all sound the same. I'm convinced that she recorded maybe four, and the people over on at whatever name they're giving that horrible record label these days (Murda Inc.? The Inc.? Ear Pollution? I don't know) just set them to different music. And what on earth is she trying to do with that weave?
  • The video for Destiny's Child's "Soldier" is depressing on so many levels. The first level, of course, being the fact that they continue to treat poor Michelle like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. It must be so demoralizing for her to even be a part of the group, it's so obvious that they hate her. Then there was a two second shot of Solange and someone (her babydaddy? I'm suspicious) rubbing her stomach and I was pleasantly surprised that they let her out of the basement to film it. But overall, the video just seemed like an excuse to let Tina Knowles design some new atrocities...oh, sorry "outfits" and see just how ugly they could make Beyonce's weave. I swear, it's like a platinum badger.
    ***

    For reasons unbeknownst to me, I am suddenly on a huge En Vogue kick and have found myself dancing around my room to "Free your mind" multiple times in the past few days. It's really quite embarrassing though, apparently, not embarrassing enough to keep me from sharing that with you.

    Mallory at 11/09/2004 08:21:00 PM

    2comments

    2 Comments

    at 8:36 AM Blogger Rayanne Graff said...

    Ah, at least your random admirers speak to you. Mine skip the small talk and just follow me down the street and try and smooch me.

     
    at 8:16 PM Blogger Mallory said...

    This is true, I suppose I should be somewhat thankful. But on the other hand...ick.

     

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