Wednesday, October 13, 2004
News and Stuff Part II
Today's episode of America's Next Top Model made me proud to be an American. The DRAMA and the BRIGHTNESS and the FABULOSITY was overwhelming. Overwhelming. "What's $10 to catch a bitch?" Shut up, you crackho. I firmly believe that the modeling world does not need a heffa who is so blatantly rocking the Johnny Winter look. Nobody needs that. Not even prisons.
Bill O'Reilly in sex lawsuit? Ew. I don't know about you guys, but I was perfectly content to live my life without ever knowing about Billy's fetishes. Ew. I had been convinced that he was a virgin, actually. Remember his novel? He had obviously never had sex before, his descriptions were so technical.
Their bodies were rising and falling like things that rise and fall. Then he had an orgasm. The end.
And that's, like, hardly an exaggeration. Really.
I cannot wait to see what my boy Jon Stewart does with this.
I once made a vow promising to stop being shallow but...whatever, then I turned eight and realized that being shallow is what makes the world go round. So, Johnny Damon? Good player and all. But damn, he looks like a Monchichi with a weave. A bad weave.
I love Bernie Williams.
I hate Pedro Martinez.
Notes from the Debate:
Pedro Martinez is a bitchass punk. "Who's your Daddy?" indeed. Sniff. I love New York.
Does it make me a bad person that I laughed at someone's hilariously fake Chanel earrings today in the mall? It does? Well, in my defense, they looked like they were made of tinfoil and she was wearing them with a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt.
Mallory at 10/13/2004 10:37:00 PM