Friday, October 22, 2004
Me Against The Music
It's hard not to realize that a lot of the music currently playing on the airways is complete and utter garbage. Because so much of it is so obviously wretched, it's almost as though these "artists" try their hardest to write the worst possible lyrics (or pay the worst possible songwriters to do it for them) and set these heinous lyrics to the worst music ever. They are so proud of their wretchedosity, they wear it like a badge of honor.
Because, really, the idea that some of these people think these songs are good is so utterly depressing that I can't even fathom it. Let's investigate, shall we? We'll start with my musical enemy of the moment.
My Place, by Nelly (featuring Jaheim)
I used to pride myself on being the other man/But now it's flipped and I don't want you with no other man
Okay, odd sense of pride aside, that's not so bad, I guess.
Why can't you understand anything I'm offering/I gave you the world but you just wanted arguing
Huh? What could Nelly's world possibly consist of? Apple bottom jeans and color coordinating bandaids?
From the time I picked you up, until the time I dropped you off again/ Even flipped out on me at the mall again "it's all his fault again" that's what you telling all ya friends/I aint pointing fingers ma, I just wanna call again
Nelly sure is fond of the word again, isn't he? And fights at the mall? After he picked her up and dropped her off? Is she thirteen? Is Nelly just the guy in charge of the car pool? Because that's icky. And he is pointing fingers, even if he says he isn't, he says right there "you just wanted aguing".
See how ya day going I know they stressin on ya/I know them times get hard that's why I'm checkin on ya/It's yours truly ma, I got a little message for ya
Anything he can do, girl I can do it better for ya, cause
Er. The sentiment is nice, I guess.
When we laugh or we cry it's together/Through the rain and the stormiest weather/We gon still be as one it's forever, it's forever
Look at how sensitive Nelly is. But if she wanted arguing, how is it forever? I don't understand.
Chorus: Won't you come on and go with me/Come on ova to my place
Won't you sit ya self down and take a seat/And let me ease ya mind girl/We gon do it our way
Well, if she needs to come on and go with him, then how is it possible that he's aleady at his place ("come on ova[sic] to my place")?
I heard your friend told a friend that told a friend of mine/That you was[sic] thinking that we should do it one more time
Um.
If this aint the truth then hopefully it's not a lie
Okay, what? If this aint [sic] the truth, then obviously it's a lie...right? Is there another opposite of truth? Have I been wrong for all of these years?
We never had a problem gettin it done
Did Nelly just admit to being a one minute man, or am I just reading too far into things?
Disagreed upon a lot ma but the sex wasn't one
The sex wasn't one what?
Now check it, I know you get excited (still) when I come round and bite it (girl)Quit frowin up and quit actin like you don't like it
Tres romantic. And also, ew.
But she doesn't front anymore, she does like it, and tells us in a sing-song...thing:
I like it, I like it, I really, really like it, I want it, adore it, so come let me enjoy it
"Come let me enjoy it"? Huh? But I thought he wanted her to come over. Isn't that what the whole song is about? I am so confused.
Shawty where you been/Feels like a long time, long, long time since I seen ya/Yes it has girl, when I know I said some fucked up things to you before
But girl u know I didn't mean it/(I didn't mean one single word)/(I never meant one single word)
Who the hell wrote this shit for him?
If I could take back every word I would and more fo sho/If I thought that you believe it
Oh, fo sho.
Cause you make my life so convenient for me
Yes, just what every girl wants to hear, that she makes things CONVENIENT. Like, "Well, you live right down the street, so I don't have to go too far to get some, it's nice and easy, let's work this out, ma".
Man, I hate you, Nelly.
And this man is one of the most popular entertainers of the moment. I could easily write a song like this and put a bandaid on my face, if I do that, will I get lots of money? Because I'll so try it. Anybody could do this. A monkey could do this. And do it better than Nelly.
Mallory at 10/22/2004 01:30:00 PM