Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Important Pop Culture Notes
Tara Reid guest stars on Quintuplets. Didn't she used to be famous? I mean, sort of famous, high C-list at most. But seriously, she's slumming it in JC Penney adverts and Fox sitcoms. Banging Carson Daly was a highpoint of her career. That's sad.
Papa Knowles finally let Solange out of the basement finally confirming that yes, she is pregnant. Very pregnant, might I add. I wonder how he'll fudge the timeline to make it seem like it wasn't a shotgun wedding. The man's crazy, he overworks Beyonce so much, she barely knows her own name and can hardly function under the pressure of her Cowardly Lion weave. The less said about her Joe Camelesque lovah the better. Anyhoo, good on Solange, she looks adorable. I guess the basement agreed with her.
Desperate Housewives may start to fill the Melrose sized hole in my heart. It may seem as though I am obsessed with Melrose Place and...no, I totally am. It just doesn't get better people. If we could somehow get Thomas Calabro a spot on Desperate Housewives, doing what he does best (the charming, evil shmuck), I'd die a happy girl.
The sooner Taxi bombs, the better. I feel very uncomfortable living in a world where there's a possibility that Jimmy Fallon could be a box-office draw. And I do love Latifah and Gisele, but not enough to support this. Jimmy Fallon is the unfunny. The unsexy unfunny. Latifah rocks the house, obviously, and should get better work than this. Girl has an Oscar nod! Oscar nominees shoud not have to be in Jimmy Fallon vehicles (pun not intended). And as for Gisele, I do love her, but I have a rule that models should stay on the catwalk. Remember Cindy Crawford's ill-advised foray into acting? Exactly.
Vicki Beckham is considering naming her next child-after this one, who has to be a stupid old boy-Luna. I was expecting something more outre from Ms. B., but you know, even more disturbing than her boring choice of name is the fact that Becks seemingly cannot knock his wife up with a baby girl. I mean, what is WITH that? I mean, rah rah boys and all, but it's hardly acceptable for a little boy Beckham to have a pink crystal throne or go on "Mummy and Me" trips to the tanning salon. And they can't keep trying to have kids for too much longer, Becks is running out of places to get tattoos. What, will he have Luna tattooed on his face?
Breaking news: Untalented and Ugmo Billy Joel marries a fetus
Ben and Matt have lovers spat? I hope those crazy kids can work it out. They could have a special interview with Pat O'Brien. Ben could buy Matt an understated elegant diamond. They'd wear Dior Homme suits at the wedding, of course. Gwynnie could be a bridesmaid. Winona would be invited, but they'd have to check her purse before she leaves, we can't trust her around the silverware, she'd try to sell it on ebay.
#Mallory at 10/05/2004 01:24:00 AM
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