Sunday, October 10, 2004
All night, she wants the Young Americans
Jacques Derrida died and now I sort of feel badly for complaining about him so much in my Literary Criticism class. But only sort of.
Breaking news: President Bush and Senator Kerry fight like bitches. Maybe that's how we should settle the election, just an out and out Dynasty fight with clawing and pushing people in the pool, Dubya screaming "I hate you, Blaaaaaaaake". Shoulder pads and power suits would be a given, of course.
My mind sometimes takes me to scary places.
In other news: The Yankees advance to the ALCS! Of course, it couldn't just be an easy game, they had to be losing, then tie it up, then lose by quite a bit, then tie it up fabulously and then win in extra innings. Now, boys? I understand that you have dramatic tendencies and think it's fun to do that, just to make a statement, but...um, it's not. It makes me nervous.
God, the ALCS last year almost killed me, I spent much of it curled up in the fetal position under a blanket, daring to move only when I felt the need to swear at the television. Which I did, loudly and often. My poor nerves (and neighbors) can't take another series like that.
VH1's Hip Hop Honors is on this Tuesday. And I had been excited because, hi, Mos Def, but! He didn't host! And no one will explain why. Diva issues? Perhaps. But I'd so have his back on that, because...Vivica A. Fox? Dude. Just because she shtupped 50 Cent ::shudder:: does not make her an appropriate host of this show. Because 50 Cent is barely appropriate for this show and he dumped her skank ass in a New York minute. The man willingly spends time with Lloyd Banks and the G-g-g-g-G-Unit boys, and even he drew the line at Vivica. Nobody deserves to be in close proximity to VAF, I hope MC Lyte got compensated nicely for it.
Seeing Kate Bosworth get all famous and possibly engaged to Orlando Bloom has made me a little bit sad. Not because I have anything against her, I rather like her but because...well..because it counts out the possibility of a Young Americans reunion.
You may be asking yourself, "Melrose Place? Dynasty? Dawson's Creek? Young Americans? Has this girl no taste?" and the answer is no, I do not have any taste. If it's campy and soapy and over-the-top, I'll probably watch it. If I were to tell you how many hours I spent watching Days of Our Lives and the (ridiculous!) Salem Stalker storyline, you'd laugh and laugh. I willingly watched Drake Hogestyn emote with his eyebrow. I am obviously sick.
But, yes, for a brief moment, Young Americans represented all that was good and fabulous about primetime soap operas. Boys who were on the scary/pretty cusp? Check (well, boy, not boys. The others were sort of ugmo). Storylines with incestuous undertones? Check. A girl pretending to be a boy and then a boy becoming attracted to that "boy"? Check! Heinously obvious Coca Cola product placement? Check! SUCH an awesome show. And now, just a distant memory. And since Miss Bosworth is all famed out and Ian Somerhalder is all on a real show, the reunion movie will never happen. Sniff.
I know that Saturday Night Live hasn't been good for at least a decade, but really, this season is just pitiful. Like, really bad. I thought that Jimmy Fallon leaving would make things better. But it seems as though Horatio Sanz's suckage continues to taint the whole operation. Look at the weave they gave Maya as Beyonce! That's, like, a quarter of the size of Beyonce's weave. God. Not even Corona can make this better (mmm, Corona...). Poor Queen Latifah, she's better than this. And so is Seth Meyers, he's too cute and too good for this.
And, God, Jude Law is hosting on the 23rd? DAMN IT. Why do you hurt me this way, Jude? And with Ashlee Simpson as musical guest? Christ. The things I do for the people I love (in a non-stalker way).
I am endlessly amused by the fact that all of the little ads in my Gmail are about Diet Coke. Brilliant.
Mallory at 10/10/2004 12:05:00 AM